


we keep each other human (I am good because you have illuminated me)

by not_my_circus



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: ALRIGHT DEF AN AU NOW, Angst, Asexual Character, Asexual Sammy Stevens, Emily Potter is amazing, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Sammy is a bit oblivious, also, and I don't wanna, and a lot pinning, and most things after episode 31 are either not mentioned or didn't happen in this universe, deals with the whole "getting hit by a wave of evil" stuff, goes off after episode 31: The Forgotten, hell if I actually know, i guess, i guess?, in a weird way, in case it wasn't clear, it diverges from cannon, just cause I'm not reworking all of this, kinda an au, no Jack Wright, not cause I don't like him, or that story line, so is Ben Arnold, this takes place in some nebulously AU future where Emily is back, tho I do mention Ben having a lovely singing voice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-15 23:48:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10559774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_my_circus/pseuds/not_my_circus
Summary: Emily and Ben decide that Sammy? More than just their bff.Sammy is an oblivious, pinning idiot.But there is certainly something else a bit darker going on because it's King Falls and the trio just can't catch a break.***(aka Emily and Ben try to date Sammy who is in love with both of them but also totally oblivious. But with more angst and some whump for Sammy because I wanted to and Ep. 31 created a plot bunny in my head because I'm weird)





	1. It burns, we burn, radiant and beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> Weird plot bunny is weird but I wrote it anyway.
> 
> Also title is from a poem NOT written by me. Here is the link to the whole poem: http://brandanoquits.tumblr.com/post/120642059537/the-next-time-someone-says-that-you-are-inherently (though I will include it also written out). At this exact moment I have not received permission to use it so title and such may change if the poet says I cannot use it. Just a heads up.
> 
> UPDATE: I have since received permission from the lovely poet to use their work. They are lovely and talented and I very much appreciate them allowing me to use this poem.
> 
> Hope anyone likes this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily and Ben come to a realization about Sammy.  
> Sammy pines but something else is wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no beta so I apologize for any mistakes (please tell me about them)

_The next time someone says that you are inherently good,_  
_tell them that on this earth, our default is darkness._  
_We only know light because we rotate just enough and we're located just right;_  
_next to a star that keeps us alive._  
_It burns, we burn, radiant and beautiful._  
_The next time someone says that you are inherently good,_  
_tell them, no,_  
_I am good because you have illuminated me._

 

 

 

> _-we keep each other human_

_***_

_(Day Zero: Monday)  
Ben_

It was a full bladder that woke Ben. Otherwise, he probably would have slept until later in the afternoon, warm and safe. As it was, he woke safe and warm and utterly content despite the need to pee.

Which was odd since the first thing he noticed when he woke up was: 'this is not my bedroom'. Not exactly a comforting thing to realize.

He blinked, brain slowly kicking on and immediately pointing out there was a warm mass pressed against his chest and another against his back. A glance to one side revealed a familiar face relaxed in sleep with a mass of dark curls tumbling wildly behind.

Emily.

It had been almost six months since they had gotten her back but the same flood of relief still crashed over Ben whenever he saw her. She was safe. She was here. She was kickass.

That solved one mystery.

Shifting slightly, the radio host turned to look around, hoping for if not a familiar location, than at least a clue as to where they were.

Cheap IKEA coffee table cluttered with junk food and three empty cups.

Awful paisley wallpaper and mint carpeting.

A few knick knacks scattered about.

The open menu of Deadpool playing on a large tv.

Ben definitely knew where they were. He had seen the room repeatedly, though the knick knacks actually being unpacked was new - Emily's work, she had taken one look at the boxes, still packed despite it being over two years, and suddenly unpacking had become a priority for Sammy, and Ben had felt nothing but warmth watching them giggling and unpacking together - and there was no forgetting carpet like that. Let alone wallpaper.

Sammy's place.

That was right. "Monday Movie Morning". Something that had started a few months after Emily's return. She'd take Monday off, the library had more than enough volunteers (even Herschel had shown up to offer help though no one dared bring it up), and meet up with Sammy and Ben at one of their places for a day of junk food and movies - usually b-rated, Deadpool was an exception - and generally acting like teenagers for no good reason.

All of them enjoyed it and the alliteration made Emily smile brightly. He had missed her smile and whenever she grinned, which was often, Ben felt giddy.

He remembered that morning, the three of them laughing at something as the piled in, throwing the movie in and pulling out the snacks. Sammy's small rented (rented! Seriously) house didn't boast much but the open layout was nice and also allowed for the massive, unbelievably comfortable couch that dominated the room, too big for the room but so comfortable. Emily had seen it at store and immediately dragged the two of them there. As usual, Sammy had curled up against the armrest, feet tucked under and body tilted slightly so Ben could comfortably lean his back up against the other radio host, propped up and legs sprawled to the side. Emily usually settled there, long legs curled up and curls spilling everywhere.

All of them must have fallen asleep at some point - lulled by the warmth and comfort and food - and had shifted while sleeping. Emily was still partially atop Ben, twisting at the waist to the slope off so they were lying face to face though her torso was slanted off him. Ben himself hadn't moved much, only shifting to the side and down a bit to actually end up laying down.

Sammy though. Sammy had somehow wiggled his way underneath the both of them, legs stretched out beneath them acting more or less like a mattress. His head was propped up against the armrest - and that was going to be sore when he woke up, Ben was sure - and his arms. Ben shifted slightly, noticing the weight resting against him that wasn't Emily. Wrapped under Ben was Sammy's right arm, turned slightly so his hand could curl around Ben's side, resting gently across his rib cage. A thought niggled in the host's mind and moved slightly to see-

And sure enough, Sammy's other hand was resting atop Emily's back, settled in between her shoulder blades.

Both hands resting to check their breathing.

Warmth curled in Ben's chest. It was so Sammy, protective and sweet and Ben felt his own face soften at the idea.

He glanced up and his breath caught in his chest. The sunlight was slipping through the blinds, spilling across Sammy. Between the golden light and Sammy's dark hair, warm skin, and elegant features, the sight was almost ethereal; a Renaissance master's painting of some ancient god.

"He's stunning, isn't he." Emily's soft voice broke the silence and Ben just managed to control his surprised twitch. He flailed minutely but glanced back at his girlfriend(!!!!).  
She meet his gaze with a gentle but unrelenting stare and though his mind stumbled over explanations for why he was looking at his best friend in such a manner but all that came out was an equally soft, "Yes. He is."

Emily smiled brightly at him and then Ben watched as she seemed to think for a second then nodded to herself as if confirming something in her mind. "He really is." She held his eyes for a breath longer then shifted up, gazing up at Sammy. There's was a softness in her expression Ben recognized from their own quiet moments. A small but love filled smile curled slightly at the corners of her mouth and the image settled across Ben like a missing piece he hadn't noticed was missing. Emily spoke his own thoughts, "we fit together better with all of us. We're not...us without him."

"You're okay with that?"

"You're already in love with him," Emily tossed it out as if it was a fact and Ben, as he stared at his girlfriend, finally admitted it was but Emily wasn't done. "And I'm pretty sure I'm starting to be."

There was no debate in Ben's mind. No crisis nor doubt nor even jealousy. The three of them together clicked inside the radio host like nothing ever before. He smiled softly. "Ok."

"We need him." Emily's mutter was more self directed but Ben silently agreed.

"Speaking of need," Ben grinned sheepishly, "I need to pee."

"Ben Arnold!" Gasping in mock offense, Emily glared playfully.

"Did I ruin the moment?"

She huffed teasingly but grinned at him as he extracted himself from the tangle of limbs. "More than any moment has been ruined before."

Both laughed, warmth and love filling the room. Maybe more than any room before.

***  
_Emily_

Waking up fully usually took a few minutes for Emily. Sure she could sit up and have a conversation but properly functioning was out of the question. Ben on the other hand could immediately pop up and go. Due to that, she was still curled up on Sammy, who was decidedly out, debating going back to sleep while Ben fluttered about the kitchen, pulling various things out, clearly intending to cook.

"You going back to sleep?" Ben's voice was soft and quiet.

Emily shifted to look at her boyfriend. He grinned back at her from the kitchen, warm earthen eyes glittering back at her from behind his glasses, and Emily couldn't help but grin back. Ben might not have been conventionally attractive, he didn't have the strong chiseled features or the roguish charm, but he was unquestionably stunning with a sweet, thoughtful charm.

Looking at him, sometimes she couldn't catch her breath and felt the mind boggling and all consuming warmth of his adoration for her and hers for him.

Moving carefully, she shimmied off of Sammy, careful not to wake him. "No, think I've slept enough for today." She learned forward and brushed a few strands of hair from Sammy's forehead before straightening and spinning around, hands going to her hips. "What are you making? Anything good?"

"Depends. Think Sammy needs to go grocery shopping so that's gonna limit me."

Pursing her lips, she walked over to him and pressed up from behind. Being a bit shorter than Ben, it was a bit of an awkward position, her face pressing against his neck, but she stayed there anyway. She often found herself standing like this, hands winding up in Ben's pockets, when she wanted to think. It was a comforting space to be, pressed close to someone real and warm and who cared for her.

Ben hummed lightly, "What're you thinking about? How we're gonna woo Sammy?" A soft chuckle followed his quiet.

"No." She'd had a few thoughts about including Sammy in their relationship without scaring or overwhelming the poor man but they had time. "I'm thinking about you."

"Oh no. Should I be worried?" The radio host's voice was playful as he moved slowly around the kitchen, letting her follow him as he snagged eggs and milk from Sammy's fridge.

Emily rolled her eyes, "first of all, no, I'm thinking about how wonderful you are. Second, are you seriously making pancakes are 1 in the afternoon?"

Ben laughed and nodded, starting to measure out ingredients. Stepping backwards, Emily moved out of his way, and hopped up onto the counter. "Weren't thinking about it for that long, were you?"

"No. No I was not."

"Rude!" Her boyfriend flailed the wooden spoon at her and managed to knock the measuring cups off the counter. They tumbled to the floor with a soft clatter and Emily burst into giggles.

She slid down to help out, as much as he'd let her - Ben tended to be nit-picky in the kitchen -, as the radio host brought up some inane topic and they both noticed Sammy sit up from the couch.

Warmth and joy flooded Emily, more than it had in a very long time.

***  
_Sammy_

Sammy woke up to an ache in his chest and an empty couch. He vaguely remembered falling asleep with the warm presence of Ben and Emily pressed close but they were gone. The absence settled painfully in Sammy but it didn't surprise him. Still, he took a moment to breath into the familiar ache.

A soft clatter from the kitchen followed by soft laughter tore Sammy from his wallowing. He sat up and whipped to the side, taking in the scene in the kitchen.  
Emily and Ben were puttering about there. The former hovering on the sides while Sammy's co-host moved around smoothly, plausibly preparing some food. Heart lodged in his chest, Sammy just watched the two of them move seamlessly together, chatting quietly and both grinning happily.

It filled Sammy's chest beyond capacity.

The ache pulsed in his chest, twisting around his rib cage and wrapping icy tendrils around the fluttering warmth but Sammy brushed it to the side.

He just wanted them to be happy and here, now, he got to watch them be so.

The pain could wait for later.

***

_(Day Two/Three: Wednesday/Thursday)_

"This is the Sammy and Ben show on 660 on the radio dial. You're an air. What've you got?"

"You still gotta say that? I know who I'm calling."

"Hey Ron! How's Kingsie?"

"Hey Sammy, hey Ben, Kingsie's doin' alright. Saw 'im just this morning. But how bout you boys? Quiet night it seems."

"That it is, Ron. But not slow enough to let you and Ben giggle like teenagers over a made up lake monster."

"Well lucky for you Sammy, that's not why I'm calling this fine evening."

"Alright then Ron! What've you got?"

"Got a surprise sale startin' tomorrow at Ron's bait and tackle! Thought I'd share the word with you and your listeners!"

"Well thanks for that there Ron! Did you hear that listeners? Unannounced sale announced just now by the big Ron himself! Sammy stop laughing I hear how that sounded."

"Unannounced sale announced? Really Ben?"

"I'll let you two get back to shootin' the breeze, gotta get ready for tomorrow!"

"Wait! Ron! I've actually got a question for you."

"Alright Ben, what can I do for you."

"Weather gonna be nice tomorrow? Seemed like you'd know best."

"Weather seems just amazing for tomorrow, Ben. Why you asking? Planning a date?"

"Well, yes actually I- did he just hang up on me?"

"I think he did Ben. I think he did."

"Well then. Wanna go to the lake tomorrow?"

"I thought you said it was a date."

"I did. Wanna come?"

".....sure?"

"Alrighty! Let's take another caller!"


	2. We only know light because we rotate just enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio go on a date (not that Sammy notices). It gets mildly interrupted.  
> People start to notice something's up with Sammy, even if he won't admit it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this wasn't up yesterday, I was a bit busy with some stuff. But I hope y'all enjoy chapter two of this. The other plot that isn't "Emily and Ben seduce the shit outta Sammy" starts to come up more here, as does Sammy's asexuality.
> 
> As a disclaimer, I am not sex-repulsed (but touch-okay) asexual like I portray Sammy so while I endeavor to portray him in a proper way (while not being this a piece be about Sammy internally monologuing on his sexuality) I have little to no experience feeling this way. So please inform me if this is inaccurate and even more so if it comes across offensive. Thanks!
> 
> UPDATE: OMG NOW THERE'S FANART OF THIS CHAPTER I'M DYING!!! Here's the link: https://accidental-child-art.tumblr.com/post/161281150634/cpt-america-aint-here-accidental-child-art

_(Day Four: Friday)  
Emily_

Emily stared and felt more content than ever before, felt as if everything that had happened was worth this. Sure being abducted by rainbow lights and not really remembering anything wasn't what she wanted, but she wouldn't trade anything for this.

Not far in front of her, Sammy and Ben were splashing in the shallows of the lake, shoes kicked off, pants rolled up, and laughter curling through the air.  
Ben had texted her earlier in the morning, asking her to the lake. She had immediately responded with 'only if you also invite sammy'. Which he had already done.  
With Mary and Tim Jensen covering the library, Emily had no issue with leaving the library and joining the two radio hosts for a lunch.

And watching them, she certainly didn't regret it. Her boys were happy.

Her boys.

Or, well. Technically only Ben was officially hers. And aware of the fact. Sammy was hers. He just didn't know it yet.

"Emilyyyyy!!" Ben's shout pulled her out of her possessive thoughts and back to the moment.

The two had stopped splashing each other, both thoroughly soaked, and were standing there grinning at her like mischievous little boys instead of full grown men. She grinned back, "What Ben?"

"Come join us!"

Of course that's what they wanted. "Hell no! You two are just gonna splash me!" She wanted to. She really did. But she did have to go back to work after this. "I have to go back to work!"

The boys just grinned harder. "No you don't! Mary Jensen texted us earlier! She said, and we quote-"

"'Emily Potter better not be back at this library today. That woman needs to take some time off. Place ain't going to fall apart without her.'" Sammy finished dutifully reciting the other woman's message, having taken over seamlessly for Ben. Her boyfriend grinned harder.

"I take every Monday off! I'm not always at the library!"

"We know you have the catalog and suggestions and other work stuff on your phone, Emily!"

Aware she couldn't win this, not that she wanted to, the librarian huffed lightly. "Fine! But let me finish this email!"

Shrieks, literal shrieks, of joy followed her agreement and Sammy victory dunked Ben, starting off another round of splashing. Emily shook her head, but grinned. A decidedly easy to misinterpret gesture. Which was immediately misinterpreted.

"It's amazing how immature those two can be."

Emily stiffened at the unexpected but familiar voice. She hadn't heard anyone approach, too occupied with watching Sammy and Ben. Now she was regretting it. Still, she smiled politely and turned, "Hi Greg."

"Hey Emily." Apparently misinterpretation was the name of the game because Greg took her half wave as an invitation to sit down. "Sorry to interrupt your date. Though it looks like it was already interrupted." He frowned at the two men, who thankfully hadn't noticed him.

Anger stirred in her - how DARE he! - but she clamped it down. Shrugging casually, "Not sure what you mean, we're all having a lovely time."

"It's ridiculous, him bringing Sammy along." Of course Greg couldn't pick up on what she meant. "You deserve better."

"I think you're making this into a bigger deal than it actually is."

Greg didn't even seem to hear her, continuing to rant angrily about Ben and Sammy and "her deserving better". She seethed quietly for a moment but a particularly nasty comment about Ben was the finally straw.

"That's enough!" The man fell silent when she snapped. Staring at her with wide eyes. "I have been more than patient with you and your spat with Ben but I'm sick of it! You don't get to decide what I do or do not deserve. I do! You don't get to decide what Ben should or shouldn't do on our date. I do! You don't get to decide anything for me! I asked Ben to include Sammy because he is my friend. I wanted him here. Don't come here acting all high and mighty talking like you know what I want. You don't get to come here and insult my boys like this. I've had it with your behavior!"

Emily had meant to stay decently civil but judging by Greg's reaction she hadn't quite managed it. Though thankfully he hadn't seemed to notice her possessive slip up. He just blinked in surprise before muttering a shell shocked sounding apologize and scrambling up and away. She kept a glare aimed at the spot of woods he disappeared into for a moment before huffing and turning away. Greg's interruption had sapped away some of her good mood and she wanted it back. Tossing her phone over towards her bag, Emily toed off her converses. Pulling off her socks, she inhaled deeply, trying to push away her burning anger and possessive protectiveness. Neither Ben nor Sammy had interfered in the confrontation which meant they likely hadn't noticed it and Emily didn't want to do anything to spoil their good moods.

A few breaths later, she was decently calm and she stood, hands immediately going to brush the dirt off her dress. It wasn't super nice, a casual, cotton thing she'd had for years but it was nicer than jeans and a tee shirt and not so professional-like as nice jeans and a nice blouse. It was technically her first date with Sammy since deciding she and Ben were actually going through with this and she had wanted to look nice. Glancing up from the patterned fabric, Emily found Ben gone and Sammy standing quietly in the shallows (and she really should have noticed the splashing stopping, what was up with her today), lips slanted down in a tight frown and gaze piercing. Fighting a flush, Emily fluttered a hand over her hair. Sometimes a breathtaking intensity found it's way into Sammy's warm, golden eyes that made Emily feel like a middle schooler being noticed by her crush.

The man really was unfairly attractive.

"Where'd Ben go?"

"Thought he saw Kingsie so he splashed over to look. You okay?" He also had one hell of a voice. Smooth and gentle and so damn easy to listen to. Emily wondered if he was good at singing like Ben.

She wanted to ask but instead she grinned, shrugged, and answered, "Yeah, I'm fine. He was just being a jerk."

"Frickard tends to do that." His face softened a touch, slight grin curling at the edges of his mouth and amusement glinting in his eyes and voice, "looked like you were tearing into him pretty good there at the end."

"Kinda surprised I got to. Figured you or Ben would notice and saunter up all male posturing and looming." She watched him, wondering if he would pick up on her very subtle inclusion of him in their relationship.

If he did, he showed no sign of it didn't mention it, only offering her a lopsided grin, "Well, Ben swam off after Kingsie before he could notice and I'm pretty sure you don't need us jumping in to fight your battles, you're, as you've proven, more than capable of doing it yourself and jumping in like you're some kind of damsel is a little dickish. Greg's a walk in the park for you. Though I was a bit surprised to see you putting the fear of God in him. What'd he do to evoke the wrath of Miss Emily Potter?"

"He insulted my boys."

Sammy quirked an eyebrow at her statement but grinned and tossed an arm casually along her waist, pulling her into the water. He pressed a kiss against her forehead, not saying a word.

A bit away, Emily saw Ben heading back towards them and watched him take in the scene. His grin grew.

Emily was pretty sure all was right in her world right then.

***  
_Ben_

From a half hidden alcove, Ben stared at his girlfriend and his best friend. He watched as Emily joined Sammy in the lake and the two conversed before Sammy pulled Emily close and dropped a kiss to her forehead.

It was a sweet scene to watch and when he met Emily's chocolate and midnight eyes, he couldn't help the grin.  
Sammy so far had been pretty receptive towards their inclusion of him. And sure it had only been that one meal four days ago and now this, both of which weren't really unprecedented with the three of them, Ben and Emily had made sure they approached them just a little bit differently.

"Ben! We can see you lurking over there!" Emily's light voice was like a magnet to both him and Sammy, drawing Ben close while his co-host startled and shuffled a few steps away, as if embarrassed or suddenly unsure. A small frown formed in Emily's strong features, clearly unhappy with Sammy's reaction.

Paddling closer, Ben smirked conspiratorially. "Well, you two look cute together." It was a guess about Sammy's reaction but it was also a correct guess.

"Of course we are." Sammy put on a fake air of pretension and pulled Emily back to his side, "Cutest ever."

Emily posed and jokingly added, "We stop traffic with our beauty. No one can look away." She pretended to preen before dropping into giggles.

"Pretty sure that's actually you two." Ben was pulled over towards his girlfriend by Sammy who then stepped back, as if to stay out of the way.

"Nope!"

Ben was pretty impressed with how in-sync the two of them were as they responded to Sammy and then, simultaneously turned and reached for him. The other radio host ended up wedged in-between the couple, expression slightly bewildered though Ben could tell his best friend was trying to hide it. He threw an arm around Sammy's shoulders as Emily spoke up, "I'm pretty sure it's actually all three of us."

Sammy rolled his eyes but didn't deny anything which was great.

Then Emily took the opportunity to tackle both of them into the water.

Laughing as he popped back up, Ben couldn't remember a time he'd ever felt so right with the world before.

***  
_Sammy_

Staring at the scene in front of him, Sammy wasn't sure if he was feeling content or not.

The afternoon had pretty much been perfect with the exception of the Frickard interruption, a lovely warm few hours spent with the people he cared for most. It had managed to distract him from the increasingly difficulty in his ability to sleep soundly through the night and the painful chill that had crept into his chest.

But with the sun dipped behind the trees, they had returned with a vengeance and the food he had managed to eat earlier - which had been delicious - was a heavy weight in his stomach.

Emily and Ben were curled together on the picnic blanket, smooshed together at the lips. It wasn't the most aggressive PDA Sammy had ever seen, far from it, but it was still a reminder of the grosser physical aspect of a relationship.

God he just didn't get it.

That wasn't the big issue though. Sure it made him uncomfortable and he preferred to not think about making out or what it could lead to, let alone see it, but it wasn't that big of a deal.

Instead, the ache pulsed at just the two of them together, like really weird jealousy.

Which was ridiculous. Sure he felt an indescribable warmth and happiness at seeing the both of them and knowing they were happy made the radio host feel like fireworks were going off inside of him, but that didn't explain his apparent jealous.

Plus it wasn't like he could exactly do anything about it. Ben and Emily were happy together and that made him happier than most anything could and it's like they would want to tack him on as an awkward, experimental addition.

But here he was, tagging along on their date. Pulled into embraces and conversations. He couldn't decide if the temporary giddiness was worth the pain later.

A hand grabbing his arm pulled Sammy out of his thoughts and then literally pulled him over into what had become a cuddle pile.

"Sammy! Listen!"

Emily and Ben both grinned excitedly at him and the frozen pain curled tighter.

Something was definitely wrong in Sammy's world.

***

_(Day Nine/Ten: Wednesday/Thursday)_

"Ben don't be ridiculous."

"Me? Ridiculous? You stole my microphone!"

"You're making a big deal out of nothing!"

"Dude, you have massive bags under your eyes. King Falls! You know the number! Call us with news or your thoughts about Sammy's apparent lack of sleep!"

"Seriously?"

"Lines are lit up! Pick a lucky line Sammy!"

"......Line five you're on with Sammy and Ben."

"Hey Sammy! Hey Ben!"

"Hey Troy!"

"Troy please tell me something's going on in town, please."

"Aw c'mon Sammy, don't be like that, we're just worried about you."

"I appreciate but honestly I'm fine."

"Thanks for calling in Troy, you got an advice for our resident insomniac?"

"I'm not an insomniac!"

"Well...."

"Jack-in-the-Box Jesus Ben you suck."

"Listeners in case you couldn't tell, Sammy just smacked his head against the desk. Maybe he'll actually fall asleep!"

"I honestly hate you!"


	3. tell them, no,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sammy and Ron have a chat that Ben may eavesdrop on...  
> Emily and Ben learn something about Sammy and Ben accidentally reveals something to the entire town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry this chapter took so flipping long to get posted... between finals, me getting sick, and my brother graduating, life has been super hectic!  
> Hope y'all enjoy this chapter!

_(Day Eleven: Friday)  
Ben_

Ben doesn't mean to eavesdrop. He hadn't even known Sammy was going to be at the coffee shop because despite certain assumptions, they didn't go everywhere together quite yet. In fact, Ben hadn't exactly planned on going until Emily declared him out of coffee. Which wouldn't had been that big of a deal if the two of them hadn't spent all day goofing around together leaving Ben with little sleep to function on. And a show to do in three hours.

Even more, it was Ron's voice he'd heard first. The man's distinct drawl obvious over the din of the shop. So Ben had started to make his way around the corner, intending to ask about the sale from last week. Then he'd heard Sammy's voice and some unidentified part of Ben had told him to hide. So he had. He'd never claimed to have good instincts.

So there he was, pressed against the coffee shop wall eavesdropping on his best friend. Classy. But in for a penny, in for a pound.

"Its not exactly something I can just toss out in a random conversation." Sammy's voice was just shy of utter dejection with a bit of frustration. Ben was almost certain his co-host was running his hands through his hair.

Ron on the other hand had a fierce sort of cheerfulness. Not forced, but determined. "You could always lead the conversation in that direction. Did it with me."

"You walked up to me and said 'let's talk sexuality' like you were asking about the weather." There was a noncommittal noise from Ron and then, soft and unsure, Sammy added, "And it's not like people tend to believe me when I do bring it up, y'know? It all 'you haven't met the right person' or 'you will with someone you love' and then they just stop listening."

The hurt and dejection in Sammy's voice slid painfully over Ben and a part of him filed it away to think about later. Most of him was more consumed with the fact that Sammy was talking about his sexuality right now, something Ben had no concrete knowledge about. Sure he could guess, but that was kind of dickish and inaccuracy was probable. Feeling a bit bad about eavesdropping but even more curious, Ben snagged a chair and quietly pulled it over.

"It's not something a lot of people know."

Sammy let out a bitter laugh, "You can say that again. Plus,"

"People confuse asexual and aromantic." Ron's tone was knowing.

"Actually I was going to say that I'm a very tactile person so people get confused. But that too." Ben could tell Sammy was offering Ron that half smile of his. One side of his lips quirked up, head angled down, and eyes peeking up. It was stupidly attractive and if Sammy was actually aware of what he was doing, it would be a useful seduction tact. He, however, didn't seem to have a clue. "Apparently if someone does have a clue about asexuality, it's 'physical contact makes asexuals uncomfortable' like it's some unquestionable rule that's always true."

There was a thud then the rustle of clothing and Ben peeked around the corner to see what was happening. In a flash of luck, Ben had apparently picked a spot perpendicular to the other two men's table, allowing him to see both of them.

Sammy was slumped dejectedly over the table, forehead rested on the polished wood, and Ron had an arm reached across, hand resting gently on the radio host's back.

Ben felt a strong urge to throw something. Instead, he tightened his grip on his coffee and quickly texted Emily.

'still at coffee, smmy here talking to ron'

Almost immediately, and before Ron or Sammy said anything, Emily responded.

'are you eavesdropping?'

Ben typed out a quick response but ducked back behind the wall when Ron glanced around briefly. The older man sighed, "It's difficult Sammy, but most people here in King Falls are pretty open-minded, you gotta give 'em a chance. People here like you."

"Yeah, I know, I know." Sammy's voice was muffled at the start but cleared, presumably as he sat up. "I just...its complicated."

"Because you're in love."

 And just like that, Ben regretted eavesdropping.

***  
 _Emily_

Sitting in Ben's kitchen, Emily couldn't decide if she was happy she had encouraged Ben's eavesdropping or not.

Sure, they could use as much information as possible in wooing their friend, but it also seemed like a privacy breach. But then again Sammy was having the conversation in a public space.

Though the coffee shop tended not be exactly crowded at 7pm on a Sunday.

It wasn't like either of them had any real malicious intent...

Shaking her head to clear her spiraling thoughts, Emily frowned down at her phone. A few minutes ago she'd received a message from Ben that simply read: 'on way back. need to talk'.

With a five minute walk between the coffee shop and Ben's house, she expected the radio host to either come walking in dejectedly - if Sammy had, say, been on a date - or burst in excitedly - say Sammy had mentioned his feelings for Ben or herself.

Instead, he shuffled in, looking half excited and half nervous bordering on dejected. Which was not what she was expecting.

Emily watched him as he walked forward before dropping heavily into a chair. She took her own drink - hot chocolate, it was much too late for her to be having caffeine but just the right time for the warm delicious drink - from Ben's off stretched hand and fixed him with a soft look. "Wanna talk now?"

"Sammy's asexual."

"Benedict Arnold," she loved Ben, she did, but she also expected better from him, "I expect better from you to judge someone on something like this! You're attracted to the man but you damn well better be willing to respect his boundaries, feelings, and wants."

She inhaled, ready to keep lecturing Ben when he, expression shocked and turning frantic, frantically corrected himself, "that's not the bad news! That's not the bad news!"

Pursing her lips and crossing her arms, Emily waited for him to elaborate. It was an expression and posture she had used quite effectively before. And it proved not to fail her this time either.

"Yeah I'm a little bummed he never felt he could tell me, I mean, he's been my best friend for years. But that's besides the point!" Ben flailed a bit and Emily couldn't help but smile. "Knowing his sexuality can help us, ya know, tailor our plan of attack!" He grinned goofily at her.

"Ok, then what is the bad news?"

His expression drooped a bit but the radio host, just a bit petulantly, replied, "who said there was bad news?"

"Ben."

"I don't think I mentioned bad news, maybe you're the one who has bad news!"

"Ben."

"I mean, if you do just go ahead and-"

"Ben!"

Falling silent, Ben stared at her for a breath, then sighed. "Sammy's in love with someone."

"Sammy's in-with whom?" She wished she had a different reaction; wished she could react happily, excited that her friend was in love. Instead she just felt a surge of jealousy and possessiveness. Sammy was hers. Hers and Ben's.

"I don't know, he didn't say." Ben looked dejected. "Or he might have but after he mentioned that, I left."

Reaching out, Emily pulled her boyfriend closer, only to suddenly realize something. "He's not in a relationship."

"What?" Ben blinked at her.

"Sammy's not in a relationship, he definitely would have told us at least that if he was." She clarified, finding herself understanding better."

Ben's eyes widened as he processed her words, "He's not dating the person he's in love with!"

Possessive determination flaring, Emily muttered, "We still have a shot then." It was rather a selfish way to look at it, she knew. Perhaps stepping aside and helping Sammy with whomever it was would have been the right choice, but Emily felt she deserved the right to be a little bit selfish, she had been abducted by aliens. If Sammy turned them down, she wasn't going to be angry at him, they weren't going to force the other radio host, but until such a thing occurred (if it was going to at all), Emily would make sure she worked towards getting her boys where they belonged.

And she wouldn't regret a thing.

***  
 _Sammy_

Head pillowed on his arms, Sammy absentmindedly listened to the inane chatter of the coffee shop around him. It was a bit close to eavesdropping -not that he had that many qualms about the occasional eavesdropping, especially in regards to such trivial conversations, though the mental justification wound through his exhausted brain anyway- but his head was pounding just a touch too much for him to really care.

Ron had left a few minutes previous, wrapping Sammy in a warm hug and offering a ride home, which Sammy had turned down absent-mindedly. A part of him regretted it, his head was pounding and just a bit woozy feeling, leaving him a bit wary of driving but Sammy knew that admitting to needing a ride now, Ron would insist on giving him a ride to work later which was bad enough but then he’d also need a ride at the end of the show.

Which would likely fall on Ben.

It wasn’t that he was _avoiding_ Ben per say, he couldn’t when they spent hours together every night at work, but it was getting harder and harder to spend time isolated with either him or Emily and not end up bent over in pain. He didn’t understand and it didn’t make sense yet still it happened.

He wasn’t avoiding Ben, he was avoiding _pain_.

Sammy wanted to be around Emily and Ben, the two made him happy in a way others couldn’t even come close to. He knew now what that meant. He knew that it wasn’t just close friendship but that he had fallen in love with his two best friends who happened to be in a relationship.

Which was perfect.

Resisting the urge to smack his head against the table, Sammy wished he could regret moving to King Falls.

He didn’t.

***

_(Day Twelve/Thirteen: Saturday/Sunday)_

“Okay Sammy enough is enough. You look miserable.”

“Wow thanks.”

“Jack-in-the-box Jesus Sammy, don’t purposely take that the wrong way, I _know_ you know what I meant. I said miserable not terrible. And it’s true. You’re pale and sweaty and shaky and you’re not even trying to hide your grimace!”

“Let it go, Ben, it’s nothing.”

“No! Have you got _any_ sleep recently? Like, at all?”

“It’s nothing!”

“Then why were you talking to Ron about it? Oh shit.”

“What.”

“C’mon Sammy.”

“Ben what the actual hell.”

“I _may_ have seen you two talking on Friday at Starbucks? And it clearly wasn’t just a friendly, casual chat.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“You’ll talk to him about it instead of your _best friend?_ ”

“Maybe I wanted to talk to him as _my only queer friend in this town_ , Ben!”

“He’s not your only queer friend!”

“I said in this town!”

“I’m bisexual, you idiot! Holy shit, are you okay?”

“Well, besides just falling out of my chair, I’m fine…I _am_ sorry though. I shouldn’t have assumed that you were straight.”

“No, no it’s fine, I just…”

“Sorry.”

“Thanks…”

“Well…uh…listeners-“

“Oh shit we’re still on air aren’t we.”

“-sorry about that slight…tangent…but let’s get back to it. Deputy Troy should be calling in in just a few moments to talk about…something so lets get ready for that.”

“Oh my god you distracted me”

“And distraction was merely a happy accident.”

“This conversation is _not_ over, Sammy.”

“Whatever you say, Ben. Whatever you say.”


	4. on this earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily and Ben finally get Sammy to sleep but quickly realize a problem.  
> Sammy really needs help but is a stubborn idiot (also he punches someone, oops).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this chapter took so long! Besides having finals and stuff, my plan to have it written before Animazement ended up not working out thanks to power outages and tornadoes near where I live. Sorry about that! But more importantly, thank y'all so much for all your comments and kudos and stuff. I'm absolutely over the moon with the encouragement and everything. Here's the chapter! (Next chapter is gonna be...fun. The Sammy whump is really coming in then.)  
> Also, side note. I mention Sammy speaking Farsi in one line of this chapter. That's a personal headcanon. There was this one guy named Sam in my poetry workshop class this semester whose voice was eerily similar to Sammy's in the show. Real Life Sam's parents are from Saudi Arabia and he is bilingual and whoa nelly did him reading poetry in Arabic sound amazing. So, headcanon that Sammy's mom (since Stevens is a British name) spoke Arabic and taught Sammy. That is literally my only headcanon for Sammy's background that is consistent. Sorry if it doesn't fit with your image of him, it's just one throw away line.  
> Enjoy!

_(Day 14: Monday)  
Emily_

Emily had had enough. She’d heard the boys’ argument and Benny’s subsequent coming out on the show on Saturday and had expected Sammy to have taken the concern to heart and actually gotten some sleep. Instead, Monday morning found her staring at him standing in her hallway trembling like a leaf in the wind with tension and pain written into every line of his body.

He could barely even keep himself upright for heaven’s sake!

Ben hovered next to the other man, concern weighing heavily on his face, clearly ready to catch Sammy should he tip over. Not that Sammy noticed. In fact, he didn’t even seem to notice the blatant worry Emily knew she was certainly showing. He instead seemed to be acting as if nothing was wrong, an unsteady grin scrawled on his face and voice nonchalant, “So what are we watching today? Another _Mystery Science 3000?_ ”

“Sammy, I-“

“That only thing we’ll be watching today,” Emily cut Ben off, shooting him an apologetic look, even as she took a decisive step forward, gently taking Sammy’s arm, “is the backs of our eyelids, you need sleep.”

“What the- not you too Emily! I’m fine.” Sammy made to back away but swayed heavily and stumbled slightly, falling back into Ben. Emily’s boyfriend quickly steadied the other radio host, hands staying firmly on Sammy’s back. Not that he noticed.

Emily didn’t even bother to answer, instead she stepped forward and more securely wrapped a hand around Sammy's arm. She endeavored to convey just compassion and concern but with whatever was bothering Sammy impairing him to the degree it obviously was, there was no telling how he'd take her actions.

Thankfully, he seemed coherent enough to only frown and start mumbling curses in what Emily was pretty sure was Arabic, but she could have been wrong.

Ben’s voice, amused and soft, trickled over, “I have no idea what you’re saying but I’m going to assume it’s _not_ complimentary.” And Emily grinned at the two.

“I have to agree with Ben there.”

Sammy scoffed, “Congrats on that correct assumption, you two. There was no hint to that or anything.”

Ignoring the derisive comment, Emily tugged the radio host towards her bedroom, knowing Ben was following close behind, still hovering behind Sammy. The King Falls native spoke aimlessly and softly to his co-host. It was incredibly soothing, actually. Ben’s voice was really something, kind and gentle and easy to get lost in. And Sammy quickly began dragging his feet less, following more willingly.

By the time she toed the door open, Sammy wasn’t being dragged or tugged along at all. A glance back showed he still had a petulant frown scrawled across his face but he was moving along on his own. Noticing her eyes on him and the slight smile Emily knew was tugging at her lips, Sammy glared a bit harder, “Don’t look so smug Potter, you guys teamed up on me.”

“Well if you would just take care of yourself…”

“I’m getting kinda sick of hearing that from people.” Sammy’s eyes narrowed in frustration but him fighting back a yawn rather ruined the image. He huffed, tugging his arm back and planting his feet stubbornly right inside of the bedroom, leaving Ben to awkwardly squeeze by him. Emily felt Ben come up next to her and stand there. Without looking, she knew he likely had the pinched concern on his face, worry radiating off him.

Emily mimicked Sammy’s position, crossing her arms and hardening her expression. “You’re getting sick of people expressing concern for you?”

Eyes flashing angrily, Sammy snapped, “That's not what I meant and you know it.” He swayed but managed to stay upright and hold his ground.

“Sammy, Emily and I are just trying to understand, to help…”

“Well don't! I've been handling this just fine so far and the last people I need helping are you two!” Regret immediately curled across his features, clearly not having meant to say what he said. Though whether it was because he hadn't meant to be so harsh or because he revealed more than he meant to, Emily didn't know. “Sorry that was meaner than I meant.”

That answered that.

Sighing, Emily loosened her stance, expression softening. “Ok Sammy, ok. You don't have to explain, but just let us do this. Please. If not for you, for us?”

The honey-eyed radio host visually seemed to crumple. Giving in to Emily’s heavy-handed but well meaning manipulation.

Emily, with a soft smile, reached towards _her_ boys.

***  
_Ben_

Ben couldn't get enough of the sight in front of him. Sammy’s earlier reluctance and dragging of his feet hadn't stopped him from almost immediately dozing off the moment he’d laid down.

Having succeeded in her goal, Emily had simply laughed softly before gently prodding Sammy towards the middle of the bed and plopping down on one side. Ben had mimicked her, settling down on the other side.

In the fifteen minutes since, Sammy had shifted in his sleep and was now curled up between Ben and Emily, back tucked up against Ben’s front and head tilted so that Emily’s chin had rested on the top of his head.

The radio host couldn't help but grin at the image of his two people curled together and in Ben’s own grasp; Sammy was, obviously, spooned up against Ben, while Emily had stretched her hand towards Ben, making sure to tangle their fingers together. Her other hand propped her head up, allowing Ben to meet her eyes, smile soft on her face, but a slight furrow in her brow. With a sigh, her expression dropped into a worried frown.

Ben felt his own expression mirror hers as both of them glanced down at Ben’s slumbering co-host. Cuddled up and curled up, Sammy made an almost cute image.

Almost.

But…

Sammy’s entire body was tensed. He wasn’t curled up to be _comfortable;_ he was curled up in _distress_.

All of the muscles in the other host’s body was so taut he was honestly trembling, Like it had been for days now, but then it had been due to exhaustion. Now, finally sleeping, Sammy was still quivering and occasionally twitching.

“This may explain some things.” Even as he said it, Ben knew his desperate attempt at slight levity would fall flight, especially since it implied that Sammy had been suffering like this every time he tried to sleep for _weeks._

Emily’s worried gaze shifted to meet Ben’s own eyes, “It certainly does.” She sighed softly, “But it also raises more questions about what’s actually going on with him.”

Moving his free arm out from where it was tucked underneath him, Ben maneuvered himself and Sammy so that the other man’s head was resting on his arm. Combing his fingers through Sammy’s hair, Ben worried his lip for a moment before speaking, “I don’t, I don’t know. He hasn’t said anything and this doesn’t seem right. I can’t- I can’t explain it but this doesn’t _feel_ right.” With a huff, he continued, “I mean, the nightmare-sleep issue doesn’t feel right. _This_ , the three of us feels nice, feels right, but, I don’t know, I don’t even make sense.”

“You’re a little vague and nonsensical, but I get what you’re saying, Ben, I understand.” Emily offered a small smile and, even with his all consuming worry for his friend, it warmed Ben and made his heart flutter. Emily really was something. She also wasn’t done talking. “This whole Sammy boycotting sleep, nightmare thing _isn’t_ right. I mean, even on a science level. I’m far from an expert and I could be wrong but, I don’t- it’s the REM stage of sleep where you dream and I’m almost positive that, even as exhausted as Sammy blatantly is, it should take longer to enter it that _fifteen_ minutes. That seems _way_ too quick. And that’s bad.”

Ben could hear what Emily wasn’t saying, that in a town like King Falls, it very well could be something causing this issue for Sammy. Something malicious and powerful enough to have long-lasting effects.

They had barely dealt with the Rainbow Light situation. They technically still hadn’t. (But Emily was back and Ben didn’t really care about anything beyond making sure that she, along with his mother and Sammy stayed.)

Suddenly Sammy whimpered slightly and somehow managed to curl in even tighter, jostling the couple surrounding him. Worry twisting heavy inside, Ben shifted, hoping to figure some way to comfort the other man. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Emily do similar, pulling the sleeping man closer to her and dropping her arm so that she could tuck Sammy’s head under her chin. Ben also curled closer, letting go of his girlfriend’s hand, he wrapped his arm around Sammy.

Another whimper and then Sammy twitched in a manner that could very well be him flinching in his nightmare. There was a breath then Ben’s co-host, in a heart wrenching voice, literally _pleaded_ in his sleep, “please, no. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave.”

Ben could do nothing but cling to Sammy; he and Emily had him in their arms but, even in the vulnerability of sleep, they couldn’t seem to reach him.

***  
_Sammy_

He wanted to run. He didn’t want this, didn’t want to be here, it was dark and quiet and the trees around him seemed to twist and flicker with darkness and silence and he just wanted to run but he couldn’t move, couldn’t see, could barely _breathe._

But he could see, he could see Emily and Ben standing just at the edge of the clearing, backs to him, walking away, half in the trees, the trees. Sammy knew, he didn’t know how he knew, but he just _knew_ the trees were safe. They were safe, they were good, and he was glad Ben and Emily were there, glad they were safe, but he couldn’t get to them, couldn’t move, couldn’t walk forward and join them, join his friends, join the people he loved.

“Please no. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me.” He swallowed the cry into a whisper, knowing the words wouldn’t reach them because he couldn’t let them.

He loved them, he _loved them_ . And they loved him, just not the same, not the same way he loved them, not the same way they loved each other and he was _okay with that_ but he couldn’t move, couldn’t make it because he needed help to move, needed a hand to pull him forward and he couldn’t reach out to them because they would take his hand but then they’d let go and he’s just be lost again and he can’t do that, he can’t do that, he can’t do that.

The tendrils of darkness he knows are behind him, creeping up on him, wrapping around his ankles and waist and shoulders and arms, curl tighter, pull harder and he stumbles, he moves, but the wrong way, the tendrils pull him backward, away from the trees, away from Emily and Ben.

He couldn’t swallow the shout this time and it ripped out of him as the dark tendrils slipped around his throat, “Don’t leave me! Please! I don’t want to be alone again!”

And they turned and the darkness twisted, breaking his skin, ripping into him and he and he and he

And Sammy woke up.

Sammy woke up and the trees were gone, the suffocating silence was gone, but the pressure, heavy and strong, holding him in place was still there.

He immediately panicked, fighting against the weight. Uncoordinated and clumsy, Sammy flailed his arms and kicked out, managing to actually connect rather solidly with something behind him. There was the sound of something hitting the floor then -

“OW! Damn! Shit that hurt.”

Ben’s voice.

Oh shit, Ben! That’s who he’d just hit!

Bolting up into a sitting position, Sammy whipped his head around to see Ben sprawled on the ground having rolled off the edge of the bed, hands brought up to clutch at his left eye. Sammy felt his cheeks burn as he flailed towards his friend, “Oh my god Ben, I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

From the ground, Ben blinked for a second then scrambled up, “I’m totally fine Sammy! Barely even hurt!” It was clearly a lie, the skin around his eye was reddening and his eye itself was squinted to a near close, but Ben just practically flung himself back onto the bed, stiff grin stretched across his face awkwardly.

“No wonder you lost to the mayor Sammy!” Emily teased from the other side and Sammy, finally remembering the events that led to him being in the librarian’s bed with his two best friends.

He didn’t even pay attention to his own quip in response as he took in the two. Feeling worse than ever Sammy curled in on himself, completely missing the way Ben and Emily reached out to him.

***

_(Day Fifteen/Sixteen: Tuesday/Wednesday)_

“Alright Sammy, enough moping, I already said it was no big deal.”

“You can’t even open your eye Ben. That’s not ‘no big deal’.”

“Actually, you know, you’re right! It is a big deal! Because-”

“Ben. Don’t.”

“Because you woke up screaming from a nightmare, Sammy! You were terrified, Sammy.”

“I’ve been dealing with it Ben, let it go!”

“You haven’t been dealing with shit!”

“Language.”

“Don’t deflect.”

“I’ll damn well deflect if you keep making me talk about this Ben. Why can’t you just let it go?”

“Why can’t you just let us help you?”

“Maybe I don’t want your help!”

“And maybe we don’t want to watch you die!”

“...what?”

“I-I’m sorry Sammy, it’s, it’s just. _you’re getting worse!_ You can barely walk, you’re always trembling, I haven’t seen you eat in days. Please Sammy! You look like you’re dying.”

“Alright, alright, fine. I’m sorry.”

“So you’ll talk to me? To Emily? Let us help.”

“No.”

“Sammy…”

“Enough, Ben.”


	5. a star that keeps us alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sammy makes two mistakes and things go really wrong.  
> Emily and Ben can't help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL HERE COMES A WHOLE LOAD OF ANGST. I'm not really sorry. I showed this chapter to me friend and she just stared at me and then went "well that was unexpected...also holy daylights."
> 
> Speaking of friends! I wanted to give a shout out to my bffs who have both read this and helped me, despite having not actually listened to King Falls. Only one of them has an AO3 tho. SO THANKS TheBenvolioArchives, I LOVE YOU YOU AMAZING HUMAN (also I miss you come visit me).
> 
> Also thanks to the anon who I've spoken with about asexual representation (not sure you if you want me to post your tumblr url so imma just not).
> 
> AND LASTLY...HOLY SHIT THERE IS FANART BASE ON THIS FIC I'M ACTUALLY DYING I'M SO HAPPY THANK YOU SO MUCH. I posted the link in chapter two because that's where the scene it's based off of is but I'll also post it here. I've actually referenced something mentioned in the artist's note in this chapter cause I liked the idea. Enjoy!  
> https://accidental-child-art.tumblr.com/post/161281150634/cpt-america-aint-here-accidental-child-art
> 
> (Also, Chet is real hard to write and I'm pretty sure I didn't get him quite right so, sorry about that...)
> 
> Now enjoy an abruptly much longer chapter than ever before!

_ (Day Seventeen: Thursday) _

_ Sammy _

Sammy Stevens was confused. 

He was confused about a lot of things to be honest but three things were sticking in his mind as he walked near the edge of the sidewalk, exhaustion and pain and mental fog making that an honestly terrible idea. Why exactly being in the presence of Emily or Ben, his  _ best friends _ , caused him actual physical pain (there was no way this was just him being an overly romantic, love sick puppy who hadn’t gotten a proper night's sleep or eaten anything substantial in almost three weeks); why exactly said friends had yet again invited him on something that was more or less a date (did they not notice what they were doing? were they aware of his feelings and humoring him?); and why exactly, considering the first issue, the one about actual pain, Sammy had actually  _ agreed  _ to their invitations (god was he really this desperate to be around them? was it sad that he pathetically knew the answer to that was yes?).

Shoulder brushing against Emily’s, Sammy stuffed his hands into his hoodie pockets and  determinedly kept his gaze from drifting to the couple next to him. He’d been curled up dejectedly in his bed, having given up on actually getting sleep, earlier when the librarian had texted him, asking if he wanted to come along with her and Ben to get dinner. Sammy had agreed, because of course he had he was pretty sure he couldn’t say no to either Ben or Emily. 

Thirty minutes later he had been crammed between Ben and a wall in a booth at Rose’s dinner, staring queasily at a burger he wasn’t going to eat and agreeing to walk around downtown with the two (because, again, he literally could not say no to them).

Which was how he found himself wandering around King Falls downtown at 10pm. The town itself was gorgeous; all small town charm, there were even string lights wrapped around the trees and streetlights and benches because of course there were, Sammy’s life was just one massive cliche (honestly, big city guy moves to small town and falls in love with his best friends who are in love with each other, he still could not get over how much of a cliche he was), so it was no surprise that the town he called home now was also a cliche (seriously, perfectly picturesque small town with weird, supernatural things going on, Sammy was pretty sure he’d read that story before at least ten times).

Fighting the urge to groan and smash his head against the clock - literally a street clock, like, a clock on a pole like a streetlamp, who created this town, Rockwell? - Sammy almost wanted to regret moving.

Almost.

He never actually would.

“Sammy? You alright there?”

Ben’s voice, amused but gentle, pulled him out of his thoughts. Suddenly hyper aware of how fragile and fake his smile was, Sammy still didn’t turn his head towards the two as he nodded. It was a suspicious thing to do, but Sammy didn’t consider it, and completely missed the worry settle on both Emily and Ben’s face.

He did notice the two slow and stop though. Sure it took a few steps for him to realize but he did after a second and also stopped, half turning towards them. Sammy wanted to roll his eyes at the two but he was too nauseous for it. Instead, he huffed, “Honestly, I’m fine.”

“That might be more convincing if you weren’t sickly pale, trembling like a life, and looking two seconds away from crying, love,” at the affectionate pet name from Emily, the pain flared and Sammy had to swallow a pained whimper. Ben’s jaw jumped with the tension and Emily’s face seemed to break, not that Sammy noticed either.

And that was when Sammy made his mistake. Sure, avoiding looking at Emily and Ben was suspicious, but it kept everything at manageable levels. He could keep things at least partially hidden, keep the pain at a level he could function at, kept whatever dark, empty feeling that was eating him from the inside at the back of his mind. And yet, he turned, moved his gaze to his two best friends.

Immediately, the icy agony exploded, ripping through Sammy, at the same time that a wave of loneliness and heartbreak and rusted,  _ broken  _ love crashed over him. It was too much.

It was too much.

A half sob, half cry of pain burst from his throat as Sammy curled in, clutching at his chest. Ben and Emily both reacted and out of the corner of his eye, Sammy saw his co-host flail wildly while Emily took a step forward, reaching out. Something in the radio host recoiled at that, instinctively afraid and he stumbled backwards.

Which was mistake number two. Because those stumbling steps lead Sammy directly over the curb. He flailed, tripping over the sudden height difference and staggered into the street.

If he had been thinking better, if he hadn’t been on the verge of just collapsing from exhaustion, if he hadn’t been fighting the urge to curl into the fetal position and cry because of the agony lancing through him constantly, if he hadn’t been consumed by the writhing mass of emptiness and darkness inside of him, maybe that would have been that.

Maybe he would have lurched out of the street. Maybe he would have given in and just  _ talked  _ to Ben and Emily.

Instead, everything around him fractured.

Bright lights flared beside of him.

Something screeched.

Sammy watched them both lunge forward. Terror clear on their expression.

He stumbled two steps backwards. He turned. His mind screamed.

Emily screamed his name and Ben cried out wordlessly.

He froze.

Light rushed towards him. Heavy and searing.

Then, the light smashed into him.

And then, and then, and then,

And then, nothing.

***

_ Ben _

Ben couldn’t decide if he was amused or dismayed by the confusion blatant on Sammy’s face. Sure it really didn’t help the whole “wooing Sammy” plan if the other man wasn’t understanding what they were doing, but it was also rather funny to see Sammy so utterly missing the point. Plus, Ben was pretty desperate to think about Sammy with anything other than all-consuming worry and a bit of panic - did the other man really expect to convince them he was “fine”? He could barely walk.

Even more, Ben was pretty sure he couldn’t recall his co-host actually eating any of his burger at Rose’s. So yes, he was desperate for a break from the constant worrying.

“Anything planned for the show tonight, Benny?” Emily’s voice was light and casual but Ben could see that she was making it purposely so. Just as she was purposely keeping her hand loose and close to Sammy’s.

Ben grinned back, but raised an eyebrow at the nickname. His girlfriend seemed to get a kick out of his dislike of it and occasionally teased him with it. She grinned back, completely unrepentant and actually stuck her tongue out. From the other side of the librarian there was an amused sounding exhale from Sammy and the man’s lips twitched upwards. Emily’s grin turned triumphant as Ben rolled his eyes while actually replying to her question, “Nothing too exciting. Troy mentioned something about the Williams boys and a stolen car earlier so that might come up.”

The truth was Emily knew Troy had stopped by earlier. She’d been at Ben’s place when the deputy dropped by to ask about Sammy because it was obvious to pretty much everybody in town that something was up with him - even Mayor Grisham had pointed it out the last time Ben had the misfortune of seeing the politician and Grisham hadn’t even brought it up as an insult which was extremely telling - and while over, Troy had mentioned that he had to start his shift earlier because of “those damn Williams boys being up to no good again”.

Emily hummed in response and Ben sighed. The goal had been to drag Sammy into the conversation without actually forcing it on him but it didn’t seem to be working and Ben was frustrated. He didn’t get why Sammy couldn’t catch on, they had dragged him on almost every date they’d had in the last two weeks and nothing had changed.

Nothing had changed.

_ Nothing  _ had changed.

The realization burst into Ben’s brain and he had to resist the urge to groan and drop his head into his hands. Of course nothing had changed because they were pretty much doing the same things they had been doing before. Sammy often hung out with the two of them on what could be considered dates and cuddle piles weren’t anything new, most Movie Mondays ended in them. Sure they were doing these more often and with actual romantic tones but with whatever was making Sammy miserable they couldn’t expect the poor man to pick up in it.

Grinning at the understanding, Ben moved his arm from where it had been looped with Emily’s in order to actually grab her hand. She glanced over, question clear in her face but Ben just mouthed back ‘I’ll explain later’ and she nodded, giving his hand a quick squeeze.

And then Sammy shoved his hands into his jacket pockets with so much force Ben swore he heard a seam pop. The other man had been purposely staring ahead the whole time with a weird grimace/smile stretched awkwardly across his face.

Before the other man could stalk away like he actually looked like he was about to, Ben spoke up, voice carefully light, “Sammy? You alright there?”

It was a perfect time for the man to actually  _ look at them _ and yet he kept his head locked forward as he stiffly nodded.

With a huff, Ben stopped walking and felt Emily do the same next to him. They couldn’t keep doing this, Sammy was practically falling apart in front of them and Ben didn’t know what to do and he didn’t know how to help and Sammy wouldn’t even talk to him and Ben wanted to scream. Sammy continued a few steps, seemingly oblivious to their lack of movement for a moment before it seemed to click and he also stopped.

“Honestly, I’m fine.” He half turned towards them and the blatantly visible pain that was scrawled into his tensed shoulders and clenched jaw made Ben just want to wrap him in a hug.

“That might be more convincing if you weren’t sickly pale, trembling like a leaf, and looking two seconds away from crying,” There was a pause and Emily’s eyes darted to meet Ben’s own before fixing back on Sammy as she added, “love.”

Sammy seemed to swallow and then for the first time all night, he actually turned to face them. And sure he hadn’t exactly hidden earlier while they had been at Rose’s but the bright neon of the signs had shifted the lighting enough to not let Ben get a good read on how bad Sammy actually looked. Now though, standing directly under a streetlamp with string lights that dripped from every available surface and the bright light pouring out of shop windows, Ben could clearly see that Sammy looked like an actual, real life walking corpse.

For half a second the only thing Ben could think was that he was really glad Dr. Rosenblum, with his whole zombie thing  wasn’t anywhere nearby.

And then Sammy’s face  _ crumpled,  _ the fake smile collapsing in on itself and agony taking its place. The man cried out and curled in, hand gripping his shirt so tight Ben was pretty sure Sammy’s nails were, if not biting into the skin on his chest, at least tearing into his shirt.

Panicked, Ben flailed wildly, one hand waving towards Sammy while his other scrambled to grab his cell phone because Jack-in-the-Box-Jesus enough was enough it was time to call an actual goddamn medical professional. Emily on the other hand, immediately took a step towards Sammy.

And then things went even worse.

Sammy tripped over the curb and stumbled backwards right into the street. A quarter of a block away, a car screamed around the corner, going way too fast. It was going too goddamn fast. Headlights flooded the well lit area with near blinding light. Enough to light up the red Sammy had dyed into his hair. Brakes screeched. It wasn’t going to be enough. It was going to fast.

Ben lunged forward, world narrowing. Sammy stumbled a step back and it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough. The other man turned.

Ben screamed.

The other man froze.

And then,

Then the car blurred by and Sammy disappeared.

***

_ Emily _

There’s a certain kind of confusion that occurs in the moments of something horrible and unexpected happening and Emily knew it. She remembered it from her abduction. It was one of the only clear memories actually. The consuming confusion of watching something happen, of seeing it happen, but having your brain shut off, because  _ how could this be happening. _

Your body reacts without you.

Watching the car race towards Sammy, brakes screeching and failing to stop the hurtling vehicle, was enough to send Emily’s mind reeling. This couldn’t be happening. This  _ couldn’t be happening. _

She felt herself lunge forward.

She watched Sammy move away (because of course he did, was she an idiot? he ended up in the first place because he flinched away from her reaching towards him).

Ben screamed.

Emily heard herself cry Sammy’s name.

Sammy froze.

And then there was a terrifying sound. Speeding metal hitting flesh, hitting bone, hitting  _ Sammy _ .

The car whipped by. Its brakes were still squealing.

Emily didn’t even wait for it to pass completely before she was diving forward.

And then froze.

Ben’s voice drifted by her but she couldn’t process the words. Someone across the street was screaming, high-pitched and continuous, but she couldn’t process who. Other people were shouting and reacting but she couldn’t process anything around her. Her brain had suddenly caught up with her body in time to lock on the sight before her, searing it into her eyes.

Sammy lay, still and limp, on the asphalt in front of her. He was face up, eyes closed and expression slack. Blood is already starting to pour over his skin, quickly forming rivers and pools and dripping, dripping, dripping to the ground. He wasn’t moving, he wasn’t moving.

She stumbled forward, dropping to her knees. She felt someone else collapse next to her but she couldn’t, she couldn’t.

“Sammy?” Was that her voice? It had to be. “Sammy!”

Colored lights suddenly flared around her. Colored lights. She wanted to scream. Not now. Not again. She grabbed Sammy, gripping his arm tightly. She couldn’t move him. Moving him was bad. But the lights, the lights.

Ben!

She wanted to scream as she whipped around. Blue and red and purple lights bleeded over everything. And she couldn’t find him. She couldn’t find him. She couldn’t-

“Emily!”

Ben’s face filled her sight. He was kneeling next to her, face pale, tears streaming down his face. The lights flashed against his skin. Red. Blue. Red. Blue.

Red. Blue.

Red.

Blue.

That wasn’t- that wasn’t the rainbow lights.

Reality suddenly snapped into focus. There were no UFO’s above her. The lights were approaching police cars. Ben was kneeled next to her, gaze desperately flying between her and Sammy, clearly torn and panicked about what to do.

She took a shaky breath, feeling her own tears slipping over her cheeks, “I’m okay, I’m okay. I just…” There was nothing else to say and she trailed off.

Ben just nodded. Not far away, the police cars slid to a stop. The closest one to them opened and Troy stepped out. He was looking behind them and Emily watched his gaze move from whatever was back there - maybe she should look, but she couldn’t look away, not from Sammy, not from Ben, she couldn’t look away from the people she loved falling apart - to them. She watched as he took in the scene, watched confusion then realization, then horror fall over his features. Troy fumbled for his radio and she focused back on Sammy.

Someone needed to tell the deputy what happened, someone needed to call an ambulance, someone needed to check if Sammy was even still breathing, someone needed to do  _ something _ but she couldn’t  _ move. _ Her body was frozen beneath her, only her head would shift and even then only to look from Sammy to Ben then back to Sammy. She was  _ frozen. _

Suddenly Ben’s presence next to her shifted then started to move away and her breath caught in her throat, he couldn’t go away, he couldn’t he couldn’t. 

“Hey, hey Emily, I’m not leaving you, I’m not leaving you.” She blinked. She hadn’t even noticed she’d been speaking aloud, much less that she’d tangled her free hand into the loose fabric of Ben’s hoodie. He rested a hand on her cheek, his face was set in determination but his touch and his voice were gentle, “I just need to tell Troy what happened, okay? I need-someone needs to-god Sammy…” His voice wavered for a second before steeling again.

Emily couldn’t take control but Ben could. With a shaky nod, she let go of his jacket, hand trembling as she moved it to brush off her tears. A part of her felt stupid for breaking down, for suddenly becoming useless - she wasn’t a useless goddamn damsel, she rescued herself from aliens for shit’s sake - but a second part of her reminded her that she was damn well allowed to break if she needed to and Ben could handle this just fine. Ben froze for a second, half way standing and whispered, “Just, just check on Sammy? Please?”

Check on Sammy. That made it sound so easy, so casual. Like he wasn’t sprawled motionless on the asphalt in front of them, like he hadn’t just been hit by a car, like there wasn’t a chance he could be  _ dead _ . Oh god what if he was-

No.

She needed to check on Sammy. She needed to know first. Then she could shatter if…

She locked eyes with Ben and nodded, voice fragile, “Yeah, yeah, I can do that. I can do that.”

Ben finished standing and drifted out of her line of sight. But she couldn’t focus on that right now, couldn’t focus on him being out of her sight, she had to check on Sammy, she had to know.

She focused on the prone figure - the figure of  _ Sammy _ , of someone she loved, oh god - and actually  _ looked  _ at him. He was still, sure, eyes closed and limbs limp on the asphalt, but that didn’t mean he was motionless.

Emily shifted forward, uncurling the death grip she’d had on Sammy’s arm and moving her hand to settle lightly against his throat.

There was no breathless moment of waiting, she could immediately feel his pulse beneath his fingers. That was all she could tell, but that was all that mattered. The pulse was there. Sammy’s pulse was there.

“Emily?” She jumped at the unexpected voice. It wasn’t Ben, it wasn’t Troy, it was  _ Cynthia _ . The older woman stood above her, face pale. It suddenly clicked in Emily’s memories that it had been Cynthia who had been screaming earlier. “Emily, can you feel his pulse?”

Archie’s voice - when did he get there? had he been there the whole time? - echoes out as he yelled for an ambulance. Ben’s voice was audible as he frantically explained everything to Troy. A third voice - was that Jacob Williams? - was hiccupping and sobbing behind her. But Cynthia’s voice, while hesitant and kinder than Emily had ever hear her sound, was sure and steady.

“Yeah, yeah it’s, I feel his pulse.”

Cynthia nodded, dropping swiftly to her knees and replacing Emily’s fingers with her own. A moment, then she focused on her watch, frown growing. Emily felt her panic rise before the older woman seemed to shrug and glance over. “It’s strong but fast, almost frantic, but it is there and it is steady.” Disbelief must have been obvious on Emily’s face because the other woman suddenly added, “I was a nurse before I had kids. I may not exactly.”

There was a response Emily could have made. In fact there were multiple. She could have politely commented on that, or inquired more about how Sammy was doing, or pointed out that Cynthia didn’t exactly think highly of the radio host. But she was cut off by the sound of approaching sirens and an ambulance pulled up, lights flashing.

EMT’s rushed forward and EMily suddenly realized she  _ couldn’t help _ . She wasn’t a trained nurse who had seen what had happened, she wasn’t an EMT, she was a  _ librarian _ . She’d be nothing but in the way.

Lurching to her feet, she stumbled away just as the medics ran in. Cynthia started talking, probably explaining things while the EMTs moved with certainty and ability.

“Emily.”

Ben was suddenly beside her, arm curling around her waist. She looked at him and found that his expression mirrored hers; they were both terrified, and worried, and confused, and utterly  _ useless  _ to help.

They could do nothing but worry. So they stood there, and did nothing but worry.

***

_ (Day Eighteen: Friday) _

_ Chet _

“But that’s just jazz, now isn’t it? Speaking of, how about- wait...is that the - what does Benny Cat call it?- ‘hotline’ ringing? Well, well, this should be interesting. Hello, you’ve called into the Chet-”

“Chet! It’s Dwayne Libbydale.”

“Well hello to you, not my usual caller, are you? What can I do for you?”

“Look, Chet, it’s, shit, it’s about Sammy and Ben, they-”

“Shotgun and Benny Cat? What did they get up to now? Also why are you calling me about it?”

“Jack-in-the-box-Jesus, I just, look, I just figured someone should let you know they won’t be in today.”

“It’s less than two hours before their show and they’re having you call in for them? And are those  _ sirens _ I hear? Sounds like I missed the party there.”

“Chet. Sammy’s going to the hospital.”

“Shotgun’s going where now?”

“To the hospital. He was- god it was terrifying - he got hit by a car Chet, the ambulance is here now, I don’t know much else.”

“A’right. I’ll stay on.”

“Okay. Okay. I’ll have Troy or someone call you.”

“Shit. Well, folks, it looks like you get more of old Chet Sebastian tonight. How about you cool cats call in and share whatever you know about Shotgun for me? Let’s do that.”


	6. Not a Story Update (I'm so sorry)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No new chapter has been posted in flipping forever.  
> The author offers an explanation and an apology.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the chapter title states, this isn't a new chapter.  
> Sorry.

Hey y'all! I'm really sorry I haven't updated in a while despite my comments in the previous chapter about doing so. I have a reason but first lemme say that I will be continuing this story, that is guaranteed.

However, in early June, my cousin Mark died. His death was very sudden and very unexpected for our family. While I personally wasn't very close to him - he was technically my second cousin (he's my dad's first cousin) - my dad was and it was rather hard on him. Also, Mark's cause of death hit very close to home for me. Helping my dad through this and dealing with my own emotional fallout kept me from working on this story. I would say that, since things are calming down on that front, I would be able to get back to this, but that isn't 100% true because more joyous occasions are occurring in my life in the near future. My 21st birthday is next week and so my parents and I are spending this weekend at the beach which will also keep me from writing. The weekend after that, I will be going to a different beach to visit my cousins (actual first cousins this time) which, again, will keep me from really working on this. After that I will hopefully, baring any unforeseen events, be back to having time to write.

Lastly, totally unrelated to everything else, I have a question for y'all. Even though I haven't been writing, I have been thinking about this story and want y'all's opinion on something. The next like two chapters are definitely going to be angsty, however I'm not sure  _how_ angsty. Would you rather Sammy only be moderately injured by the car crash, or severely injured? Whatever you choose, there's going to be more going on than just the injuries, and I have ideas for both, but I wanted to know which y'all would prefer.

I'm so sorry about the delays. Y'all have been so supportive and wonderful about this story so I figured y'all deserved an explanation as to why I was absent. Also, thanks for any input on which direction to take the injuries!

 

Apologetically yours,

the author

 


	7. our default is darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Emily drift.  
> Sammy realizes he's been running from the wrong thing.  
> (The Author is very sorry about things)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! I'M BACK! I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THE HOW LONG THE HIATUS LASTED I MEANT TO BE BACK SO MUCH SOONER BUT LIFE HAPPENED.  
> I am planning on continuing this story, however it is now definitely an AU because Jack Wright is not a character who will be showing up in this story and I'm gonna go ahead and say that none of that story line is existing in this story. I hope people still want to read this considering that (and also my hella long absence). This is not because I dislike any of the plot or anything but because I wanna write the story this way and reworking everything would be a major annoyance. Plus it's my story soooo...
> 
> Thank everyone so much for the support, well wishes, and love. It meant and still means a lot to me. Life is difficult and so is school and a ton of things but y'all have been great. So thank you.
> 
> Again, I apologize for the hiatus. I'm trying to catch up on this story and other stuff. Thanks for those who read.
> 
> As always, if you see mistakes, lemme know. The final section of this chapter gets a bit...weird/experimental but I like it so....

_ (Day Seventeen/Eighteen: Thursday/Friday) _

_ Emily _

Emily’s phone was ringing. The noise echoed out in the silence of the hospital parking lot. She couldn’t remember how she and Ben had gotten there, could vaguely recall someone - Cynthia maybe, or Archie - ushering them into a car as the ambulance peeled away, but the drive that must have happened was a blank in her mind.

But now she was standing in the dimly lit parking lot, Ben hunched over with his forehead resting on the top of the car, and her phone ringing. The bright screen glared brightly from her hand, “Mary Jensen” flashing at her.

She should answer, she knew she should; the older woman was her friend, was  _ Sammy’s  _ friend and Emily was pretty sure that Mary would have heard about what happened. Mary deserved to hear the actual circumstances instead of being left to wonder and worry. Yet Emily couldn’t answer the phone, she couldn’t make her hand move.

The ringing continued.

“Emily?” Archie’s voice pulled her attention away from the buzzing device and Emily glanced up. The dog breeder offered a soft, sympathetic smile, “Are you going to answer?”

She blinked once. Twice. A third time. Staring at Archie, she knew her expression was confused and borderline lost which made sense because she  _ was. _ She  _ was  _ confused and she  _ was  _ lost and she didn’t know what to do. A sob started building in her throat and Emily struggled to swallow it as she choked out a response, “I don’t- I can’t -”

Archie stepped forward, expression soft and movements gentle. “Why don’t you let me answer?” He stretched his hand out and Emily practically shoved the ringing device into his hand and stumbled back. 

Separated from the obligation of a ringing phone, Emily wrapped her arms around herself. She could hear Archie speaking and could see Ben standing just out of arm’s reach but she couldn’t reach out, couldn’t break the isolation separating them. Yellow light poured onto the dark asphalt and ahead the brightly lit hospital stood outside of the bubble of dim silence, the bubble of unrealness. Nothing was real under the pooling light, time stretched and slipped and Emily felt herself getting swept up into the river of immaterial-ness. It would be be so easy, to drift away from reality. It would be so easy, so easy, so easy - 

“Emily?” Ben’s voice pulled her back to reality for the second time that evening. Ben stepped forward, away from the car. His posture was one of someone reaching out to help but his expression was one of someone looking for help. He trembled but spoke gently, “You were drifting again.”

He needed help and comfort as much as she did. She broke her own isolation, reaching out for her boyfriend. Ben reached back, catching her hand. They pulled together, arms wrapping around each other and bodies tucked close.

“We’re gonna be ok, Benny, we’re gonna be okay.” Emily spoke up, hearing her own voice as soft and fragile and dreadfully uncertain.

Ben sighed, heartbroken and lost, “I know  _ we  _ will be. But what about Sammy?”

The images - the fresh, vivid memories - flashed in her mind. Sammy’s exhausted, distant face; his flinch away; the headlights; the screams; the blood.

She didn’t have an answer.

***

_ Ben _

There was still a ringing in Ben’s ears, an echo of Emily’s phone, of the ambulance sirens, of the screams. He wasn’t sure it would ever go away. Wasn’t sure he ever wouldn’t have the echoes of the noises trapped in his brain, the same way the rainbow lights - the ones that took away Emily - would forever be seared into the back of his eyelids. The same way the sound of Emily’s panicked voice from that night was carved into his ears. The same way the image of Sammy sprawled on the ground was being painted into his memory.

God why was everything tainted with tragedy? Why was everything soaked in pain?

Fitted close against Emily, holding and being held by her, Ben couldn’t help but wonder if it was him, if it was his touch that caused agony and misfortune to seep into the things he wanted to hold. Was it something within him that entangled disaster with joy?

Was it  _ him _ ?

It was a self-centered thought, sure, to think he was the cause, the root of things, but he couldn’t help it. He was desperate for a reason, for something to blame, something solid and concrete. Something that could be removed to protect the people he loved.

The guilt curled through him, heavy and burning and blinding. It raged through him, consuming everything, racing, racing, racing, racing, rac-

“Ben.”

Emily’s voice, broken and velvety, dulled the blinding, guilty flames, pulling him back to the gentle darkness. Ben lifted his head up to look at her. Neither said anything, just stared at each other, comforting and comforted. The hospital glowed in the background, bright and repulsive.

“Should we go in?” Archie, suddenly reappearing, broke the moment. He stood right at the edge of the dimness, part of that brightness.

Ben felt Emily shudder against him and her eyes dropped away from his. But her hand tightened in his. He sucked a breath in, drawing in strength from and trying to give strength to Emily.

Together they turned to Archie and the painful light.

That’s where they would find answers.

***

_ Chet _

“Alright Doyle, I’ll get the message to them. You have a good night there.”

“Same, man, same.”

“Looks like the well-wishes for Shotgun are just piling up, for someone who’s still rather new to town, Sammy sure gets around, popular guy. Haven’t gotten an update on how he’s doing yet but the night’s still young - oh that hotline or whatever’s ringin’ again. Chet here.”

“Hello Chet.”

“Cynthia Higenbaum! Don’t hear your lovely, lovely voice too often. No need to sound so disgusted, you called me.”

“Don’t start flirting with me, pervert. I didn’t call in to hear that stuff.”

“You say that, yet you did call in anyway.”

“I called in about Sammy, but if you wanna be a creep, I can just hang up.”

“ _ You’re _ calling in about Sammy? Shotgun’s in the hospital, you best not be calling in to talk bad about him.”

“I’m not!”

“No need to sound so indigent, it’s not secret you aren’t no fan of his.”

“Do you want an update or not?”

“By all means, go ahead.”

“He...uh...it was a pretty bad collision, those damn Williams boys were going way too fast.”

“But Shotgun’s gonna be alright, right? I mean...:”

“Honestly Chet - god I hope sweet Benny isn’t listening right now - Sammy’s in bad shape, I’m not sure on all specifics, but he’s vitals weren’t too good on the scene.”

“Shit. Ok. Thanks Cynthia, thanks for the update.”

_ *** _

_ Sammy _

Sammy opened his eyes to blindingly bright light assaulting him. Pain immediately sliced into his brain and he slammed his eyes back shut to escape the burning. With his eyes closed, he hauled himself up to his feet, and waited a moment, focusing on pulling a breathe through his clenched teeth. Slightly settled, he tried again, this time shading his eyes with his hands. It helped, but only enough for him to glance around the landscape. Which he very quickly regretted.

Around him, bleached sand stretched for miles; a glittering, empty canvas laid out. Dunes rose up then disappeared in an endless, indistinct march in all directions. Nothing stood out, nothing emerged as distinctive, nothing caught his attention. No way to get oriented. Just sand so white it looked like glittering snow.

And Sammy.

The painful brightness bombarded his eyes and he squeezed them shut, wincing when the brilliance seemed to seep past his eyelids, eruptions of light bursting across his sight, even with his eyes closed. He didn’t know where he was, didn’t know how he got there. His mind wheeled desperately with no traction, finding nothing. He remembered King Falls, remembered Ben and Emily, remembered being in Rosa’s dinner. Remembered the darkness. The darkness he had run from and screamed in terror as it had invaded his nightmares.

Now, nerves burning from the excruciating light, Sammy longed for the shadows of his house. In his mind, he recalled the rich brown soil of his garden and the shade of the forest that crept at the edge of his yard. He longed for darkness, for the absence of light he had not just taken for granted but actively ran from.

Then, as if called forth to torture him, light flared, noticeable even behind his closed eyelids. Sammy cracked them open and his breath caught in his lungs. Brilliant, jagged lines of lightning streaked down from the sky not far from him. The electric bolts crackled as they struck the ground and Sammy let out a yell, stumbling back. His eyes were wide open now, tearin up and stinging from the light. It was like being trapped in a snowstorm, surrounded by blinding light and white and he crumpled to his knees, face dropping into his palms.

Even buried in his hands, his head throbbed from the brightness. The light had seared his eyes and burned into his brain, leaving his nerve endings screaming. Desperate for relief, his mind recoiled back to the dark he had run from, to the safety and gentleness of it. He recalled Ben. Ben and his soft, dark eyes and rick brown skin. Ben, in the blackness of the studio, reaching for Sammy’s hand in the warm darkness.

Relief trickled in and, like a dying man, Sammy grabbed onto his salvation. His mind reached for more and Emily slipped into his mind. He envisioned that day at the lake, her standing in the shadows and the still, inky waters. He recalled her coarse, black curls and the deep purple of her favorite velvet dress, the soft fabric that he could almost imagine against his palms. The night she dragged him and Ben on a midnight picnic played in his mind; the inky midnight sky, the darkness that settled around them like a blanket, even the dark brown of the chocolate truffles Ben had brought along.

Impulsively, he reached out for them, for Ben and Emily, for the two people who had pulled him into actually living. But his hand stretched out into empty air as he knew it would. There was nothing there, no one here with him. He was alone in this burning landscape, alone and lost.

More lightning exploded around him and Sammy let out a cry no one would hear. He shuddered, sobs and shouts grating at his throat.

He was alone here. He would be alone here. Alone as the light consumed him, whittling his down until he was nothing but bones. Bones the light would strip any color from until he was just more whiteness in the landscape. A bleached skeleton, abandoned.

Screaming alone in the bleached desert and the blinding white lightening, Sammy longed for the shadows; longed for darkness.

He longed for home.


End file.
